watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
