I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
