Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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