I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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