Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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