You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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