how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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