I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
