Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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