I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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