Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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