THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
