big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
