You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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