last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
