Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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