Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Omg I joined a choir last night...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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