it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
