Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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