found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
