I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
