I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
