he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
