You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
