Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
