Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
