I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
