I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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