hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
