I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
