i would punch a child for taco bell
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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