I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
