i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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