When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
