I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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