Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
