Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
