Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
