He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I smell stomach acid.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
