Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
