Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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