I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
