I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
