"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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