if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
