I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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