I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
