i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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