Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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