We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
