Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
