omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
