Dignity is for republicans.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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