I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
