Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
