forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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