they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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